perversity:1 a deliberate desire to behave in an unreasonable or unacceptable way; contrariness: they responded with typical perversity.
ORIGIN late Middle English (in the sense ‘turned away from what is right or good’): from Old French pervers(e), fromLatin perversus ‘turned around,’ from the verb pervertere(see pervert) .
中文可能只有乖僻比較接近?或者變態?英文的解釋裡點出一個靈魂要點,就是desire. 乖僻的 行為才可以讓慾望得到滿足。往往行為和滿足感是最顯性的,而真正導致顯性表現的慾望是什麼卻很少清楚意識;因此是最有趣的謎題。
寫不出來的原因就是內心有聲音告訴自己:不得乖僻。